Is it Love or Lust?

While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about, use all the attributes and adjectives you can find for him. Identify special subjects that might become a part of this list and then pay attention what do they actually mean in your mind and heart.

Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love. Then check which of the three feelings dominates the page. If there is not such a big difference between each result then keep going with us to find what is happening.

Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature.

Watch a movie that relates to your situation yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love. When you find a movie that actually fits your relation then you will be able to watch your relation reflected on the screen and analyze properly what is in it.

Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree. Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.

Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone.

A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.

Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?

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